walking on a dream

"your mental"
"but it's cute mental right?"
"totally cute mental."

tomorrow entails
1 pool party
1 bottle of rum
1 bottle of wild vines
1 camera
1 sloppy me
1 lot of sloppy cubans.

:)summer<3

untrust us

i get you a vodka redbull
and lure you in the kitchen
It's quite smoky in there
Have a seat
We'll have another drink
Have some chips
We'll have another drink
Have that cigarette
We'll have another drink
God, it's already 4 a.m.
we're getting tired
and your eyes don't lie

although i wouldn't mind some company today
last night is still making me smile.

cheap plastic seats

the room where I used to stay. You'll find the time if you need it. 50 miles apart but I never saw you clearer. We prayed for moments like this. Little sparks, little hits from someone else's garden.

80/20

(925):
"Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends"

LOLOL.

opposite of adults

i could have bet anyone that i would not make friends from my trip. i would have been willing to bet anything. but i guess unusal circumstance lead to unusual friendships. we laughed. we drank. we smoked. and drank some more. we talked about how stupid life can be sometimes and other times it was all giberish.they all made me feel like a real person again. they made me smile.
all i want to do is smile.

man on the moon

cudi is epic;


i'm going camping tonight with the crew we met in cuba :) i'm starting to get a hang of this whole "friends" concept.

trying to hold smoke

my hips crave you.

my eyes are lungs

"you have the cutest face i have ever seen."
"thanks."
"no your cheeks- they're so cute."
look at the floor.
"and your eyes- your pupils- i have never seen pupils so big normally."
"..oh, well i can't see that well."-good one renee.
"you're gorgeous you know that?"
pause. smile. shrug.
"no- isn't she fucking gorgeous"
look at friend. avoid eye contact
"your SO gorgeous, and such a cool girl."
.....yea?....
"can i kiss you?"
... what.?
"can i kiss you?"
no. not even close.

this is what i always wanted, right? i always thought hearing i was gorgeous from other people would solve my problems and end world hunger. his questions made nauseous and eye contact made me uncomfortable.


chcę was. zawsze chciałem was.

screaming "it wasn't me."

"Do you know what hurts the most about a broken heart? Not being able to remember how you felt before. Try and keep that feeling, 'cause if it goes, you'll never get it back........Then you lay waste to the world, and everything in it"

sometimes i wish he loved tony stonham as much as he did jesse lacey.

number 99: just as i am.

promise you will go down my neck;
just like those pills and your cigarette.
so as my fingers curl,
move my lips just so you won't have to.

make me smile today.

daisy

"why am i endless facinating?"
"you're not, i'm just hopelessly boring."
we tossed in the sheets
i squeezed
you let go.

noro

i want so badly to lie down next to him on the bed. to wrap my arms around him and sleep.just sleep together on the most innocent sense of the phrase. but i lack the courage and he no longer is my boyfriend. and im akward and he is gorgeous. and i am hopelessly boring and he is endlessly fascinating. so instead i collapse in my bed thinking that if people were rain, i am the drizzle and he is a hurricane.

i'm a fugitive with no legs

my life has a superb cast but i cant figure out the plot yet. The script is all wrong. I know how i want the story to go but the lines, they come out all wrong. no matter how many scenes the words keep changing. the words keep changing and so does the cast. i've rehearsed the lines so many times in my head but they always come out differently then they did in my head. the lines don't match the scene and i'm left to improvise. every time i improvise, it changes the next line, the next scene,and the next chapter. often i wish i had no lines at all so i could sit back and watch the plot unfold before me.

i'm a mountain that has been moved

burn down everything we've begun

i haven't done this is a very long time. my words are akward and shakey, my brain doesnt know the perfect words to start this entry off with. what i want and what i need no longer is the same thing. i've never really done it on my own before. the past month- is the strongest i have ever been. despite my moments of weakness, despite my tears i take each day at a time.

brukuje mi ciebie.